Bathroom accidents can turn into a lot of work very quickly. A wet diaper can become wet pants, a wet chair, changing clothes, cleaning the person, and cleaning whatever they were sitting on.
With Mom, I try to prevent as much of that as I can by taking her to the bathroom before she needs to tell me she has to go.
I don’t set an alarm every two hours. I built bathroom trips into things that already happen during our day.
Start With the Morning Routine
Mom goes to the bathroom when she gets up in the morning. I change her diaper, help her wash her face, comb her hair, and get her ready for the day.
Then she has her Ensure, which I call her coffee.
When she comes out again to eat, I take her to the bathroom before she sits down for her meal. I learned to do that because otherwise she may need to go in the middle of eating.
It is just part of getting ready to eat now.
Use the Times You Already See Each Other
Mom walks around our house throughout the day. She goes into her room, comes back out, walks around, and I see her often.
So when we cross paths, I often say, “Mom, let’s go pee.”
That’s about as complicated as my bathroom routine is.
Because I see her throughout the day, I usually don’t need to watch the clock. If she has been in her room for a long time and I haven’t seen her, then I pay more attention to how much time has passed. If it has been around two hours, I take her to the bathroom.
Two hours isn’t a rule I think every person with dementia should follow. It is simply something that works for Mom.
Go Before Leaving the House
I also take Mom to the bathroom right before we leave the house.
We may be going to the store, out to eat, or somewhere else with my husband. Even if she went earlier, I usually have her try again before we leave.
I would rather spend a few minutes in our own bathroom than discover shortly after we leave that she needs one.
Don’t Wait for Them to Ask
At this stage of Mom’s dementia, I don’t depend on her to tell me when she needs to use the bathroom.
Sometimes she may tell me. Sometimes she won’t.
So I don’t make that her responsibility. I already know the times when a bathroom trip makes sense in our day, and I take her.
Most of the time, there is no discussion about it. I say, “Mom, let’s go pee,” and we go.
This routine also helps with bowel movements. I don’t have a separate schedule for that. Because Mom uses the bathroom regularly throughout the day, sometimes she simply has a bowel movement while she’s there. That has also helped reduce bowel accidents for us.
This Has Made Diaper Changes Much Easier for Us
Mom still wears diapers. The bathroom routine doesn’t mean there are never accidents.
But on most ordinary days, with this routine, I only need to change her diaper about twice a day.
If I miss the timing, the difference can be obvious. Her diaper may become completely soaked. Then her pants may be wet, the chair may be wet, and suddenly I have clothes to change and more things to clean.
There are also days when the routine doesn’t work as neatly. Dementia doesn’t follow a perfect schedule, and neither does the body.
But I don’t spend my day setting bathroom alarms or watching the clock. Mom and I already see each other constantly as she moves around the house.
When she gets up, we go. Before she eats, we go. Before we leave the house, we go. And when I see her walking by during the day, very often it’s simply:
“Mom, let’s go pee.”
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