When people talk about activities for someone with dementia, they often think of puzzles, crafts, games, or other activities specifically designed for dementia. I think about it a little differently.
A hobby does not have to be something special. If my mom enjoys doing something, stays interested in it, and wants to keep doing it, I consider it a hobby.
Dementia has taken away many of the things she used to be able to do. But that does not mean she can no longer enjoy doing things. Sometimes we just have to stop looking for her old hobbies and notice the new ones she has created for herself.
Folding Laundry Is One of My Mom’s Best Activities
My mom can spend a surprisingly long time folding laundry. She doesn’t necessarily fold something once and move on. She may fold a shirt, unfold it, look at it again, and fold it another way. Sometimes she does this several times.
I don’t correct her. There is nothing wrong that needs to be corrected. She is concentrating. Her hands are busy. She is interested in what she is doing. And while she is folding, she isn’t wandering around the house.
Sometimes I even take simple T-shirts that are already folded, unfold them, and give them to her to fold again. She doesn’t need to know that the laundry was already done. There doesn’t always have to be a new task. The activity itself is what matters.
The Finished Product Doesn’t Matter
This was something I had to learn. If I give Mom laundry to fold, the goal is not perfectly folded laundry. I may have to fold some of it again later. That doesn’t bother me.
If she spent 30 minutes happily folding and refolding a few shirts, then those shirts did exactly what I needed them to do. They gave her something meaningful to concentrate on.
The same idea applies to many of the things she does around our house.
Sometimes Her “Organizing” Is a Hobby Too
My mom likes opening drawers and cabinets and reorganizing things. She may move things from one place to another and arrange them in a way that makes perfect sense to her and absolutely no sense to me.
I used to see that as something I would eventually have to fix. Now I often see it as one of her activities.
As long as the things she is handling are safe, I don’t need to stop her. She is busy. She is making decisions. She has a purpose. Why should I interrupt that just because I would organize the drawer differently?
Simple Activities Can Hold Her Attention
Other simple activities work well for my mom too. She has spent time coloring, doing simple puzzles, and stringing large beads. Sometimes she can stay with the beads for 30 or 40 minutes.
She can also help with very simple household tasks, such as folding laundry or preparing vegetables that don’t require knives or anything dangerous.
The activity has to fit what she can do now. I would never give her an important job that has to be completed correctly or on time. That would turn an enjoyable activity into pressure for both of us.
Instead, I look for things where the process matters and the result doesn’t.
Watch What the Person Already Likes to Do
Sometimes caregivers spend a lot of energy trying to invent activities. Before doing that, I think it helps to watch.
What does the person repeatedly choose to do on their own? Do they like sorting things? Folding? Moving objects from one place to another? Looking through photographs? Handling fabric? Putting things into containers and taking them back out?
Something that looks repetitive or pointless to us may actually be something they enjoy. If it is safe, it may not need to be stopped. It may simply need to be recognized as an activity.
Don’t Make Every Activity a Test
I don’t use activities to find out what my mom can still remember. I don’t need her to complete a puzzle correctly or put everything in the right place. I want her to enjoy the time.
If she strings the beads differently than I would, it doesn’t matter. If she folds the same shirt three times, it doesn’t matter. If she reorganizes something that was already organized, it doesn’t matter.
There are already enough things in dementia that tell a person what they can no longer do. An activity doesn’t need to become another one.
A Good Activity Can Give the Caregiver a Break Too
There is another benefit that matters in our house. When Mom becomes absorbed in folding laundry or another activity, I get a little time too.
I know where she is. She is occupied with something safe. She isn’t wandering around looking for something to do. I may sit down for a while, take care of something I need to do, or simply have a few minutes when I don’t have to redirect her.
That isn’t the main reason I give her activities. But after more than 12 years of caring for someone at home, I know those small breaks matter. A good activity can be good for both people.
Hobbies Can Change With Dementia
My mom’s life today is very different from the life she once had. Her abilities have changed. So have her interests. I don’t expect her hobbies to look the way they did years ago.
If folding and refolding T-shirts makes her content, that can be a hobby. If reorganizing a drawer keeps her happily occupied, that can be a hobby. If she wants to string the same large beads over and over, that can be a hobby too.
A hobby is simply something we enjoy doing. Dementia doesn’t change that.
Sometimes the best activity isn’t something we find for the person with dementia.
Sometimes it is something they have already found for themselves.
This article shares my personal experience caring for my mother with dementia at home. Activities should always be adapted to the person’s current abilities and supervised when there is any risk of injury, choking, falls, or unsafe use of household items.
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